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PDA’s, Bats, and Religion

June 12, 2009

PLEASE NOTE: This is not going to be a good blog…in fact, it’s going to be a lousy blog. I am typing this out of frustration. I believe this what they refer to as “venting”.
I apologize in advance for the following…

Once Upon A Time…

A guy named Average Joe owned a car…he named the car ‘Religion’. Every day for twenty years, Average Joe would use ‘Religion’ to drive around the neighborhood to do good deeds: offering rides for people, delivering groceries, transporting the sick and injured to the hospital, and basically helping as many people and doing as much good as he can.

Ten years ago, ‘Religion’ was stolen by a thief named ‘PDA1’ (Pompous DumbAss # 1)’…and for four days, ‘PDA1’ drove around the neighborhood in ‘Religion’ running over dozens of pedestrians and causing mayhem. Many people were hurt or killed. After four days, Average Joe was able to get his car ‘Religion’ back from PDA1 and he returned to the task of using ‘Religion’ to do good deeds for the neighborhood.

It happened again six years ago…a guy named PDA2 (Pompous DumbAss # 2) stole away ‘Religion’ and used it for their own selfish need to hurt and kill others. Once again, Average Joe got his car back and used it to do more good again.

Eventually, Average Joe ended up with two roommates, named PDA3 (Pompous DumbAss # 3) and PDA4 (Pompous DumbAss # 4). These two roommates liked to sit around all day…smoking pot, listening to heavy metal music, and basically reveling in their own unsubstantiated self-importance. Although neither of them were around those many years ago when PDA1 and PDA2 got behind the wheel of ‘Religion’ and used it to hurt others instead of helping others, PDA3 and PDA4 both harbored a smug hatred for the car as a result of the damage that was done.

Neither PDA3 nor PDA4 were actually there when the events happened, neither of them know anybody who was there…heck, neither of them can think of a single example showing that their lives were adversely impacted in any way as a result of PDA1 and/or PDA2’s rampage. In fact, when they tried to explain why they hated the car so much, they used examples that were so inaccurate and so untrue that it only showed just how uninformed and clueless they really were about those past events….and about the car ‘Religion’ itself.

And yet, PDA3 and PDA4 still hated that car named ‘Religion’…and they blamed the car for all the damage that PDA1 and PDA2 caused.

Then one day, just last week, PDA1 and PDA2 both returned to the neighborhood to commit more crimes, do more damage, and to hurt more people. This time, however, PDA1 and PDA2 didn’t steal the car ‘Religion’…in fact, they abandoned the idea of using the car altogether. This time PDA1 and PDA2 pulled out two baseball bats, named ‘ARS’ (Anti-Religious Secularism) and ‘SIN’ (Self-Important Narcissism), and began to run around the neighborhood, swinging the bats back and forth, hitting hundreds of people, clubbing far more victims and doing far more harm and damage with the ‘ARS’ bat and the ‘SIN’ bat than they ever did with the car ‘Religion’.
PDA1 and PDA2 even used the two bats to inflict severe damage upon the car “Religion’ itself.

While the neighborhood was still trying to recover from the terrible deeds caused by the two PDA’s and their destructive bats, PDA3 and PDA4 climbed up on a soapbox and loudly proclaimed that the fault for all the carnage lies squarely on the car called ‘Religion’…not the driver, but the car itself! They completely ignored the far worse and far more recent damage caused by the bats of Anti-Religious Secularism and Self-Important Narcissism when wielded by two other PDA’s. They loudly protested the existence of the car ‘Religion’ and, quite surprisingly, proclaimed that the neighborhood would be a much better and happier place if they got rid of the car, started carrying around their own ‘SIN’ and ‘ARS’ bats, and behaved more like PDA1 and PDA2….or at least, more like PDA3 and PDA4.

Instead of placing the blame for all of the destruction on PDA1 and PDA2, where it rightfully belonged, PDA3 and PDA4 advocated the immediate denunciation and marginalization of the car ‘Religion’ and the Average Joe who had been driving it around for years doing good deeds!

It’s the car’s fault!” they yelled, “The car ‘Religion’ is the source of all of the problems in the neighborhood! Let’s lock the car up in the garage for 2,000 years and pick up our own bats of ‘ARS’ and ‘SIN’ so that we can all be better PDA’s…just like us!”

Average Joe, on the other hand, knew full well that the blame for all of the damage was caused by other PDA’s, many, many years ago, who used his car ‘Religion’ the same way they now used those bats. But Average Joe got upset because he couldn’t understand why the PDA’s continued to hold a grudge against the car…when the fault lay entirely with the PDA’s who were driving ‘Religion’ at the time.

Moral of the story: Only a pompous dumbass blames the car for the damage caused by the driver….instead of blaming the pompous dumbass behind the wheel.

Thank you….I feel better now.

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