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Garish Audio Wallpaper…..A Rant in Limerick Prose.

June 12, 2009

I’ve written this poem today
Please don’t just dismiss it away.
If you think it sounds lame
I’ve none else to blame,
Just hear what I came here to say.

Though I’m not a prosody fan
I’m trying the best that I can.
In order to rhyme
each single time
I must make great effort to plan………..ahead.

I work a long twelve-hour shift
but that’s not the reason I’m miffed.
Sometimes the time passes
slower than molasses
but the long weekends are truly a gift.

The focus of my disheartening regret
is the few station signals we get
on this lousy boom box
made by Magnavox
or is it Sony? Hmm…I forget.

This radio is a poor source of fun.
But when us workers are under the gun
at our place of employment
it’s our sole source of enjoyment.
It’s (literally!) second to none.

My problem is a particular song
that this radio plays all day long…
Okay, it is nice
when it’s heard once or twice…
but once every hour? That’s wrong!

This station boasts a musical blend
of classics and modernized trend.
But when you narrow our choices
to these same enhanced voices,
I’m hoping this trend will soon end.

These songs all tell of the joys
one gets being a sexpot to boys.
But for a guy at my age,
these songs fill me with rage.
They’re insufferable, teeth-grating noise!

Now I don’t like to trash the poor singer
because, despite all that success can bring her,
with the gossip mag tales
and paparazzi travails,
I’m sure she’s been put through the ringer.

Still, one cannot help but refute her
when you “Google” her on the computer…
You’ll see her & her friends
as they exit a Benz
and you get a great shot of her cooter.

It’s definitely a sign of poor singing
when the benefits your stardom is bringing
is from beginning new fads
by flashing your ‘nads
while your voice leaves people’s ears ringing.

When the music at work gives us pause,
and we’re plugging our ears up with gauze
because the teeny-bop screed
makes our ears bleed,
It’s detrimental to the cause.

So let’s give all popstars a news flash
that they shouldn’t be acting all brash…
They think they’re hot stuff
‘cause they show off their muff
but their music, like themselves, is pure trash.

Britney Spears may have paid all her dues
while filled with oxycodone and booze…
(This may not sound gallant…)
but she wouldn’t know talent
if it came up and puked on her shoes.

Beyonce may have high, lofty goals
and her fan club has thousands of souls,
and she makes millions of dollars
from her wailings and hollers,
but we all know she’s still Knowles

Then there’s this chick they call Pink…
She’s the “Anti-Britney”, I think…
Or is that Avril Lavigne?
Well, you know what I mean
when I say that both of them stink.

But Madonna makes the rest seem small.
She certainly has plenty of gall
gaining Feminists praise
for promoting their ways
by being the Queen Slut of all.

Any intelligent person knows
whenever Madonna yells “Strike a pose…”
that, despite all the buck$,
her music still sucks.
This Madonna phenomena blows!

So let’s put on our pointed brassieres
and go to the club for some beers…
and then we’ll all “Vogue”
to Kylie Minogue
until our brains fall out our ears!

I guess when the music sounds the same…
Then radio DJ’s are to blame.
(I also can’t stand
any so-called Boy Band…
but that’s a whole different level of “lame”).

I think I’ll now do what is best
And give my mad rantings a rest…
It’s not that I feel
that my music’s ideal…
I just wanted that off of my chest.

Once you’re done reading my poetic murk
you’ll probably think I’m a jerk.
But now I am through
so I bid you adieu…
Now log off and get back to work!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. June 13, 2009 5:29 am

    lol…loved it!! Hey i dont think ur a jerk though hehe

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